Sunday, September 20, 2009

The downside of love

Unhappy. Very.

How much I envy of others with long weekends, dun get me wrong, I have the equivalent time too, minus the relaxation and enjoyment. Perhaps some may choose to travel, some may lie on a beach watching time go by, some may fly a kite, some may go for a swim or perhaps a walk. Me? 3 days of staying home, nothing meaningful, feel like a total waste of time. Time feels short, thou it's a good 3 days worth.

I wanted to go out too. Wanted to go under the sun, wanted to do some exercise (my body feels so stiff :( ), but there's nothing I can do, other than wait wait and wait. Another one whole month to go, perhaps when you're done, I'll be gone. I can choose, why not, i can choose to be selfish, wake you up in the morning regardless you have rested enough or not, ask you to go out with me regardless if you have studied or not, ask you to choose to stay in base regardless you like it or not, but I cant bring myself to do it, if I do, what difference do I make comparing to her or to woman I despise.

I guess this happens when your brain does NOT align with your heart. I want to get out. I want sunlight. I want fun.

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