The end of the world

According to the Mayan prophecy, 2012 will be the end of the existing world. The beginning of a new world age reads December 21, 2012.

Is this real?

I watched the movie "2012", today, 23.35 at Downtown East. "2012" is an epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors (2012, official movie site).

The movie sparked fears and grieve in me. Fear of losing my loved ones, fear of losing time that I can spend with him, grieve over human's death and separation. It may be people with no acquaintance, but that's the compassion works of God in human kind. We feel for each other.

I wanted to cry. I feel like crying. I'm not sure where this feeling comes from, after all, it's just another successful movie, isn't it?

Perhaps I won't even live to see the end of it, even if it's real. Life is such a way, unpredictable and unkind. We seek mercy in every ways possible. Pessimistic, maybe, but I had too many regrets, too many mintutes late. "If only"/ "Undo" is not going to happen in reality.

Saying goes, take each day as if its the last, yes, we shall, live each day to its fullest, yes, we shall. I'm sure that's not the first you have heard of this, and won't be the last. But, how many of us can really do that? I jumped at every opportunity to tell my loved ones, that I love them, afraid that I might not have another chance. But there are too many a time that I lost my temper at them, hurting them with words that I don't actually meant.

As Asians, most kept their affections in their heart, rarely did our parents mentioned how much they love us, but we know they do, and vice versa. I remembered at Granny's death bed, the last day I had with her, I told her I love her, I always did, she was my life. She was unconscious, under the effect of Morphine, to relieve her of the pain. I'm not sure if she heard me, I was holding on to her left hand, I saw her brows furrowed. By saying so, I do not mean empty talk. It would be again be pointless, to tell someone how much you love him/her, and not doing so in action. Affection should still comes from within and the bottom of your heart. Say it when you mean it, don't be surprise, don't assume that he/she will know your feelings if you ain't going to physically say it.

To Alex, I love you. Thank you for loving me, for paying attention to every little details of my life, for giving me your precious time and effort, for your patience with my nonsense, for taking me as your wife. I will be where you are. If it's the end of time, I want to be with you. We met when I was about to give up, there you are, giving me courage and beliefs in love, and filling my picture with vibrant and joy. Taking my hand, walking with me, supporting me, listening to me - you gave me wings. Remember our magic? That's how we knew... we were meant for each other, the missing piece of our life.