Happiness

These few days have been the sweetest... no matter what sort of stuffs i'm working on... it's sweet.

Have been all cheery at work thou in a stressful situation. Smiling at the smses that I have received.. even if there's no sms... thinking of you is enough to add a smile to my face.. guess i haven't been that smiley all my life. I used to tell myself, there really aint things to be happy or smiley abt.. but now... it's really different.

In the midst of all these happiness, there's a question in my heart... "Dear God, is this an angel that you have sent or yet another test of my endurance and strength?

Guess the fear to be hurt is still deeply engraved that I could yet to trust another. I wanted to trust you but I held back. Perhaps time will reveal all to me.. and heal my wounds. Perhaps.

No matter what lies at the end of the rainbow, thank you.

Cocktail

Cocktail.. is like a glass of mixed feelings... I dunno why... I just couldn't pull myself out of this.. I know it's not love cause it's not mutual... and we are only friends. I kept asking myself... how many times have we met, how many times have you talked to him, how many times have you msn with him, how much do you know abt him, how long have you know this guy?

All the answers are telling me... no... it's not love silly gal... you fall for someone TOO easily.. way too easily.

Yet, I look forward to chat with him, I look forward to receive his sms, I thought of him... I smile jus looking at his sms. What's wrong with me.. It has come to a point whereby I have to literally remind myself what he has said.. He just want to be friend and we are just friends. I had a hard time convincing everyone else...because I couldn't even convince myself.

I dun wish to lose a friend. And yet i did something silly... so silly to tell him abt this. I told him to stay a distance, I'm afraid that all these sms wld mix up all my thots. I told him abt this blog...

Can we still be friends?

him....

Today I met someone in pink (that was according to him, I thot it was orange). Hmm... i was nervous and very.... that I couldn't even remember wat colour he was wearing. I was worrying abt how was I looking.. do I look alright... Awww... it was like i'm close to trembling.. and yet have to maintain my composure. Why was I trying to impress... haiz.

Like he mentioned, we are just friends.. there's a maybe in his answer but for now.. please stop dreaming. I fall in love too easily.. or is it a crush rather than to use the word love, which is meant for something much greater than this.

Our first meeting was short but yet something to remember... he saw me leaving my work place from far... I was told that he was at the Challenger looking for a camera when he saw someone resembling me... and took a closer look.. I'm still wondering, how did he manage to do that? My head was facing down... looking at my phone...

Then I saw his missed calls.. I called back and we met at the train station. He bought me chocolates, what a sweet impression. He looked young.. so young in my eyes... but I was reminded not to mention anything abt me being old... we took train together...though it was a mere 15mins at most.. it was unbearable.. not bearable as in the bad way.. but the awkwardness.. we were simply finding topics to clear the air... and like I mentioned.. "perhaps I'm too old for this"...

His first impression of me? Pleasant disposition... doesn't that mean...I dun look pretty but... my character and personality was pleasant? I read too much.. just look on the bright side of life.

So much for the first meeting... Arh.. dun be silly my girl.. you were smiling head over heels.. be frens first. And the inferiority complex just makes things worst. But I do look forward to his msges... yet worried to be imposing. I 'm also worried that this might after all just be a dream that i wld have to wake up to, one day.

He painted rainbows in my picture, telling me that i'm like it.... a beautiful thing after the thunderstorm... perhaps the most beautiful descriptions I've heard.

Leading a life of Simplicities is the only way to happiness... I will leave this to fate. I wonder will he ever chance upon this one day and once again think of me?