The first post

This is the countless first post that I have started with, and well apparently I jus couldn't continue with the prev blogs I have set up. All of them end up in the delete or ultimately, trash folder.

Perhaps it's my uninteresting life. I lead an almost meaningless life, slaving for the money master as everyone else. A daily routine filtering btw work and home. There are many a times I've told myself to get back on track but I jus couldn't do it. Everything that has once filled my life with love and laughter was gone and neva shall be replaced. The only person I truly gave my wholehearted love to and the only animals or rather pets that I loved. Whatever left is jus an empty soul with a broken heart.

I could no longer love. My heart has fallen asleep, too tired to love, too afraid of lost. There's simply nothing I looked forward to other than hoping and praying everyday for the happiness and health of the rest. I knew no one is going to live forever, and yet I couldn't bear the pain of losing one who is so dearly to me. And that's my granny. I have told God that should he needed to remove someone from my life again, may that be me. I don't know if there will be one day, where I will hope to live for another, but not for now.

They were telling me to let go of the unhappiness, to treasure those who are still around, to move on. They who do not understand the searing pain. They who did not went thru the sleepless nights, they who did not have wet pillows. The pain was sharp, piercing thru your heart, forcing tears out of your eyes.

I gave up explaining to anyone.